ADHD in adults: 25 obstacles in everyday life

ADHD is rarely outgrown, in both men and women. It's simply overcompensated for, which causes psychological distress. Here's a list of the most important aspects that those affected have to deal with.

Concentration problems, distractibility

Concentration problems and distractibility are core symptoms of ADHD. Those affected often have difficulty focusing on a task or maintaining it for extended periods. Even minimal distractions can lead to a loss of focus . This can have negative effects in various areas of life, such as work, studying, or social situations. It's not just starting a task that's difficult for those affected, but also persevering through to completion.

Lack of daily planning

People with ADHD often find it difficult to plan and structure their day effectively. Without a clear daily schedule or to-do list, they can feel lost in what to tackle first—often leading to a feeling of overwhelm. The difficulty in setting priorities and tackling tasks systematically can mean that important appointments and commitments are overlooked or ignored. A structured daily schedule with set goals can help, but creating and following such plans is a significant challenge for people with ADHD.

Dissipation, inability to set priorities

Procrastination and the inability to set priorities are typical problems for people with ADHD. They often take on too many tasks at once without having a clear idea of ​​which task is the most urgent or important . This leads to inefficient work, with important tasks being left undone and less important ones taking up unnecessary time. The difficulty in identifying and setting priorities results in increased stress and the feeling of constantly running behind.

Chaos in the head

People with ADHD often describe a "chaos in the mind," a feeling as if thoughts are circling in a disorganized manner without any discernible structure. This internal disorder makes it difficult to make decisions and effectively manage pending tasks. It's as if the mental "inner space" is constantly overcrowded, making it difficult to focus on just one thing. The chaos in the mind can lead to stress and is perceived by others as daydreaming or absentmindedness.

Inner restlessness and being driven

Inner restlessness and the feeling of being driven are central aspects of ADHD that go beyond purely physical hyperactivity. Those affected often feel internally tense and restless, even in moments of relaxation. This constant inner restlessness can make it difficult to find sufficient rest. The feeling of being driven leads to those affected constantly seeking stimulation or having the need to be moving, which makes it difficult to concentrate on sedentary activities. The inner restlessness can also exacerbate sleep problems, which further exacerbates the symptoms of ADHD (dopamine deficiency).

Constantly moving, frequently changing posture

Constant movement is a noticeable feature in many people with ADHD (especially the hyperactive type). It manifests as involuntary movements such as drumming the fingers, tapping the feet, or frequent changes in posture. These physical manifestations of inner restlessness often serve as unconscious attempts to satisfy the constant search for sensory or physical stimulation. They can be perceived as disruptive in situations that require calm and stillness—such as in the classroom, at work, or in social gatherings—and can be misunderstood by others ("wants to leave, not interested").

Feeling attacked quickly

People with ADHD tend to be more emotionally sensitive to criticism or perceived rejection . They may quickly interpret others' comments or behavior as a personal attack or rejection, even if they weren't meant that way. This heightened sensitivity may result from difficulty correctly interpreting social cues or from lower self-esteem (frequent criticism from outside). This often leads to misunderstandings and tension in relationships, as those affected react to perceived attacks that others may not have intended.

Be emotionally upset very quickly and violently

Another challenge for people with ADHD is the tendency to overreact emotionally . They may respond to situations with disproportionately strong reactions, whether joy, anger, sadness, or frustration. These intense emotions can arise suddenly and are often difficult to control. Such overreactions can impair interpersonal relationships and make it difficult for those affected to cope with emotionally stressful situations. This trait can become a source of conflict and impair problem-solving skills.

Act without thinking about the consequences

Acting impulsively without considering possible consequences is a prominent symptom of ADHD. This impulsivity can manifest itself in risky behavior, such as dangerous driving that endangers not only the affected person but also others, or unprotected sex, etc. Individuals with ADHD often struggle with self-regulation, meaning that the impulse to act overrides considered decision-making. This can lead to situations that promise short-term gratification or relief, but have negative long-term consequences—both personally and professionally.

Frequent and severe mood swings

People with ADHD often experience abrupt and intense fluctuations in their emotional states. These rapid changes in emotions can complicate interactions with others and encourage misunderstandings. Those affected find these fluctuations stressful and difficult to control, which complicates daily life and social relationships. Such emotional turmoil can also negatively impact concentration and performance at work or school.

Miss a stop, train or bus

Missing public transportation such as buses and trains can be a symptom of the general inattention and distractibility that occur with ADHD. The tendency to become lost in thoughts or other activities and thereby miss important connections reflects the difficulties those affected report with time perception and time management . Delays, missed appointments, or even professional and social complications are the result.

Depressive mood swings with resignation

Depressive moods are not uncommon in ADHD. These can manifest as phases of deep sadness, feelings of inferiority, hopelessness, and resignation. Such episodes can be exacerbated by persistent difficulties associated with ADHD—especially if experiences of failure or rejection are frequent. Depressive symptoms can further reduce motivation and lead to a vicious cycle of low self-esteem and diminished performance (consult a psychologist!).

Feeling bored and unmotivated quickly

People with ADHD tend to become bored easily, especially with routine activities or tasks that are perceived as monotonous. The constant search for new stimulation can cause those affected to have serious difficulty staying focused on a single task, leading to dissatisfaction and a sense of incompleteness. This dynamic can negatively impact professional and academic performance, as well as interpersonal relationships.

Lack of emotional separation from other people

People with ADHD often have difficulty distancing themselves emotionally from others. They can absorb other people's emotions intensely – and feel overwhelmed as a result. This excessive empathy can lead to emotional exhaustion, as the boundaries between their own feelings and those of others become blurred . This lack of separation has significant potential for conflict in social relationships. There is also a risk of total withdrawal if the stress persists for too long and becomes too great ("freeze response").

Poor awareness of one’s own feelings and needs

Poor self-awareness is another common feature of ADHD. Those affected often have difficulty recognizing and naming their own feelings, moods, and needs. This can also lead to problems with self-regulation and interpersonal relationships. Without a clear understanding of their emotional experiences, people with ADHD are less likely to develop effective strategies for dealing with stress/conflict in daily life.

Perceiving feelings as a “ball” and not being able to differentiate

People with ADHD often describe their emotional world as a confusing tangle in which different emotions are inextricably intertwined. The inability to recognize and name specific feelings can lead to frustration and impair communication. It can also complicate self-reflection and emotional processing, which are essential for effectively coping with negative emotions.

Irregular meal times, forgetting to eat

ADHD can also affect eating habits, with irregular mealtimes and forgetting meals not uncommon. Difficulty maintaining routines or breaking a fixation can result in skipping meals or eating them irregularly. This can impair metabolism and energy levels. The inability to plan and stick to mealtimes strikingly reflects the general organizational challenges faced by people with ADHD.

Misplacing or forgetting things

Misplacing and forgetting things is a daily occurrence for people with ADHD. Keys, wallets, cell phones, sweaters, and other important items are often left in unusual places – and later forgotten. This phenomenon reflects the short-term memory difficulties typical of ADHD (dopamine-related). The consequences range from minor inconveniences to significant disruption of daily routines and financial/emotional losses, which can cause additional stress and frustration.

Frequent lateness

For people with ADHD, frequent lateness is a common problem, resulting from difficulties with time management and estimation. The tendency to put off tasks until the last minute and underestimate the time needed to complete tasks—or to travel to a destination—often leads to these latenesses. These behaviors can strain professional relationships and create a perception of unreliability, even if those affected otherwise take their obligations seriously.

«Procrastination»

The phenomenon of "procrastination" is widespread among adults with ADHD. Instead of completing tasks promptly, those affected tend to postpone them, often hoping for a moment of greater motivation or clarity, which rarely occurs. This behavior often provokes stress as deadlines approach and tasks pile up. Procrastination in ADHD is not due to laziness, but rather to an overload of decision-making processes (executive functions in the frontal lobe).

Forgetting appointments/dates

Forgetting appointments and meetings is another common feature in adults with ADHD. Due to difficulties with working memory and organization, important dates and commitments can slip from awareness, even when they are significant. This forgetfulness can affect relationships with friends, family, and colleagues—and lead to misunderstandings and a loss of trust. Using digital calendars (alarms!) can greatly help overcome this challenge.

Spontaneous, ill-considered impulse purchases

Spontaneous and rash purchases often characterize the behavior of people with ADHD . Their impulsiveness leads to purchasing decisions without considering the financial consequences or checking their bank balance. This can cause financial instability and stress if spending exceeds their financial means. The challenge of controlling impulses and planning ahead reflects the overarching difficulties with self-regulation and impulse control (the brain's executive functions, "inner conductor").

Clutter in the household

A messy household is another common feature in people with ADHD. Difficulty organizing and staying on task with tidying or cleaning often results in a growing accumulation of clutter. This clutter can become a source of stress and impair overall well-being. The inability to maintain order stems from the perception of these tasks as completely unstimulating. Neuro-scans have shown that entire neural networks in the brain associated with "execution" simply "do not fire" in people with ADHD . The focus remains on wanting rather than doing (higher doses of medication temporarily change this).

Few friends («No time for friends»)

People with ADHD often report having few friends, partly due to the challenge of finding or prioritizing time for social interactions. The combination of time management difficulties, impulsive behavior, and emotional fluctuations can also make maintaining friendships difficult. Furthermore, the feeling of being misunderstood by others may contribute to social withdrawal. Developing strategies to improve social skills (and better time management) can help overcome these barriers and build satisfying social relationships.

Collecting mania and stacking joy

Some people with ADHD tend to collect objects and find it difficult to part with them ("hoarding") . This can range from a fascination with certain objects to an emotional need for security. However, the accumulation of objects leads to cluttered living spaces—and increases one's stress levels. The hoarding frenzy often reflects a deep-seated need for more comfort/security—or the cognitive difficulty of making quick decisions about the value and significance of objects.