ADHD and relationships: Tips for peaceful coexistence
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Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, or ADHD, affects not only children but adults as well. Here are some tips for dealing with ADHD in a relationship.
ADHD in relationships: The typical symptoms
Depending on its severity, ADHD can place a strain on interpersonal relationships. Although adults with ADHD are better able to outwardly control their symptoms than children with ADHD, this does not mean they feel comfortable and balanced. Common symptoms of ADHD include:
Limited concentration: Those affected may have diverse interests, but they have difficulty concentrating on a task or topic for extended periods. Even during conversations, they sometimes drift "into their own world." This can also lead to them regularly interrupting their conversation partners. While statistically speaking, people with ADHD are not more likely than average to be highly gifted, they quickly perceive many aspects at once. This sensory overload can be exhausting and sometimes leads to sleep deprivation.
Hyperactivity: People with ADHD can concentrate better when they're physically active. Otherwise, a buildup of excess energy builds up, which further distracts them. The drive and impatience of people with ADHD are often clearly noticeable to those around them, which isn't exactly conducive to peace and quiet within the family.
Impulsivity: People with ADHD tend to act and speak with little diplomacy, and their emotions are highly expressed. This can manifest itself in impulse purchases and other rash actions. It also manifests itself in "rash remarks" that their partners perceive as rude, lacking in empathy, or highly inappropriate in the situation.
Tips for dealing with ADHD partners
To be able to communicate better with your partner despite his/her attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, you should consider a few tips:
Avoid distractions: These include cell phones , screens, and TV, as well as other people. If you want to have an important conversation, try to be alone and unoccupied. This is easier said than done in everyday family life, so it's best to schedule specific, uninterrupted times for relationship discussions.
Describe instead of judging: ADHD is fraught with prejudice. Those affected often react very impulsively and emotionally – because this is precisely a weakness of ADHD (and sometimes also a strength). Avoid accusations and instead describe the situation from your perspective . Ask your partner to do the same.
Tolerance and patience: If attention is lacking or certain quirks and habits can't be broken, it's very rarely because the ADHD partner is deliberately not making an effort or because the relationship isn't important to them. Try to formulate your expectations clearly, yet objectively, wherever possible.
Record results: Share the results of important discussions. Also, define tasks and responsibilities in writing, including when they will be completed. Organizational systems and filing systems help prevent disorganization and a lack of reliability. A psychologist can also provide support in developing these.
Recognize the challenge: People with ADHD require self-confidence, the ability to set boundaries, clarity, and assertiveness from those around them. These are all qualities that are also very useful in other areas of life. Even if you are not affected, practice these skills to avoid losing out in a relationship with someone with ADHD . Don't forget your partner's positive qualities, such as their resourcefulness, creativity, and enthusiasm.
ADHD in relationships: The typical symptoms
Depending on its severity, ADHD can place a strain on interpersonal relationships. Although adults with ADHD are better able to outwardly control their symptoms than children with ADHD, this does not mean they feel comfortable and balanced. Common symptoms of ADHD include:
Limited concentration: Those affected may have diverse interests, but they have difficulty concentrating on a task or topic for extended periods. Even during conversations, they sometimes drift "into their own world." This can also lead to them regularly interrupting their conversation partners. While statistically speaking, people with ADHD are not more likely than average to be highly gifted, they quickly perceive many aspects at once. This sensory overload can be exhausting and sometimes leads to sleep deprivation.
Hyperactivity: People with ADHD can concentrate better when they're physically active. Otherwise, a buildup of excess energy builds up, which further distracts them. The drive and impatience of people with ADHD are often clearly noticeable to those around them, which isn't exactly conducive to peace and quiet within the family.
Impulsivity: People with ADHD tend to act and speak with little diplomacy, and their emotions are highly expressed. This can manifest itself in impulse purchases and other rash actions. It also manifests itself in "rash remarks" that their partners perceive as rude, lacking in empathy, or highly inappropriate in the situation.
Tips for dealing with ADHD partners
To be able to communicate better with your partner despite his/her attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, you should consider a few tips:
Avoid distractions: These include cell phones , screens, and TV, as well as other people. If you want to have an important conversation, try to be alone and unoccupied. This is easier said than done in everyday family life, so it's best to schedule specific, uninterrupted times for relationship discussions.
Describe instead of judging: ADHD is fraught with prejudice. Those affected often react very impulsively and emotionally – because this is precisely a weakness of ADHD (and sometimes also a strength). Avoid accusations and instead describe the situation from your perspective . Ask your partner to do the same.
Tolerance and patience: If attention is lacking or certain quirks and habits can't be broken, it's very rarely because the ADHD partner is deliberately not making an effort or because the relationship isn't important to them. Try to formulate your expectations clearly, yet objectively, wherever possible.
Record results: Share the results of important discussions. Also, define tasks and responsibilities in writing, including when they will be completed. Organizational systems and filing systems help prevent disorganization and a lack of reliability. A psychologist can also provide support in developing these.
Recognize the challenge: People with ADHD require self-confidence, the ability to set boundaries, clarity, and assertiveness from those around them. These are all qualities that are also very useful in other areas of life. Even if you are not affected, practice these skills to avoid losing out in a relationship with someone with ADHD . Don't forget your partner's positive qualities, such as their resourcefulness, creativity, and enthusiasm.