ADHD: Thinking differently has style – if you can get away with it

People with ADHD are still in the starting blocks when it comes to perceived acceptance in society. This has as much to do with laziness as with successful repression. An essay against egalitarianism.

Extremes make an impression. I first became aware of this fact when I was 7 years old. As a child with ADHD, frequently teased, threatened, and confronted with hidden gym gear , I had already developed a certain tolerance for the treatment we now call "bullying." The boy who stood in front of my desk and gleefully broke my gold Caran d'Ache colored pencil in two must have expected this tolerance, too. He did it very slowly, so that the destruction was visible in slow motion, so to speak.

However, my punch didn't hit him in the nose in slow motion . It was the product of a process that happened very quickly, but felt much slower. It was as if lava were suddenly filling my veins instead of blood—but still very pleasant. Time also became viscous, my gaze sharpened, especially the focus on the nose of the boy in front of me. Then my fist clenched—and a few seconds later, my classmate's blood dripped onto my desk.

I remember feeling no remorse at the time . Although the teacher obviously didn't exactly approve of the violence, she at least took us both to task. If I felt any regret, it was only that more blood hadn't dripped onto my desk. I also felt joy at the unique color that fresh, oxygen-rich blood truly has.

So there it was, the EXTREME . The boy who had previously put up with so much had suddenly become a "bully." Although he later regained his peaceful disposition, from then on I was left completely alone by the aforementioned bully. He had already taken more pleasure in the color "gold" than the color "red."

Dopamine and the brain – something more than just a “nice to have ”

The film "Awakenings" (1990) with Robert de Niro and Robin Williams (based on a true story) probably shows most impressively what the small neurotransmitter "dopamine" can enable in the human brain . Or hinder if its circulating levels are too low. Awakenings depicts the work of a doctor who treats patients suffering from "European sleeping sickness": an inflammation of the brain that transforms patients into catatonic zombies who vegetate contentedly. The film's doctor, Malcolm Sayer (R. Williams, played by Oliver Sacks in real life), then treats these people with levodopa (L-dopa) , a drug also used to treat Parkinson's disease.

His first subject is Leonard Lowe, whom he tries to get to spell his name before therapy using a Ouija board. Lowe instead spells the title of Rainer Maria Rilke's masterful poem "The Panther." His reaction to the drug levodopa initially fails to materialize. However , after an extremely high dose of the dopamine-boosting drug, he quickly transforms into a "completely normal" person who interacts with his mother, reflects on his surroundings, shows sexual interest—and eventually even falls in love with a visitor.

What has a powerful effect unfortunately also produces severe side effects in the medium term. The experiment gets out of hand because Lowe eventually suffers paranoid episodes, becomes aggressive and abusive—and even tries to escape from the clinic. However, as soon as the medication is discontinued, Lowe reverts to his old state—a "human vegetable."

And what does that have to do with ADHD?

People with ADHD also have a "disturbed" – or perhaps just a different – ​​dopamine metabolism . The neurotransmitter dopamine is absorbed too quickly in the brain, meaning it circulates too short a time as a messenger substance in the synapses (the contact structure between brain cells). An increased amount of the "dopamine transporter" DAT and a genetic mutation in the "dopamine transporter gene" have been detected.

In addition, less blood sugar is consumed in the frontal parts of the brain, resulting in less blood flow to the brain. And the right, frontal region of the brain is less active. These factors influence working memory as well as the brain's so-called "executive functions" —often referred to as the "inner conductor" or "caretaker." Meanwhile, the amygdala, a part of the limbic system, is smaller than in neurotypical people. It is responsible for emotion regulation.

But aren't we all impulsive, inattentive and nervous?

The good old prize question. On "Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?" it would probably be worth about 100 euros. Yes, we all have a stove at home . If you want to heat up a delicious biscuit, it's best to turn it up to full power for a short time. If you want to gently heat rice, better not do that – otherwise, it will soon stink terribly.

The connection to ADHD : Our "regulators" for inattention, impulsivity, and nervousness/hyperactivity are usually or very often stuck somewhere between levels 7 and 10. And we just have to deal with that. Neurotypical people have a more refined control system. They do occasionally experience the three main symptoms of ADHD—but that's the exception, not the rule . They can also rely on their short-term memory—and don't have the sense of time of a 5- to 7-year-old. These two things are also closely related to the neurotransmitter dopamine.

“Making an effort”, shadow work and philanthropy

People with ADHD often hear the phrase "you could try a little harder." If you meet people with ADHD out there who have completed their education, are supporting their families, and/or are taking good care of their children, you can rest assured: They're all trying really hard , every single day.

If you meet other people with ADHD—and there are plenty of them—you shouldn't draw the opposite conclusion either. Perhaps they have severe ADHD , fate has struck too harshly too often, and/or they lack a loving, understanding environment to support these people in their growth and provide them with good, inspiring company along the way .

If you're lucky, you might even meet an old, long-haired, unshaven freak (my father), who will then tell you in detail how he once checked and maintained the emergency cooling systems in a nuclear power plant - so that as a resident of a nuclear power plant canton, your ass doesn't burn off and your insides liquefy after a reactor accident (hull breach > possible nuclear meltdown > game over).

Of course, you couldn't tell from the DENNER shopping bag, the old Norwegian sweater, and the somewhat verbose way of speaking. Because ADHD is universal (approximately 5% of the population). Bill Gates, Johnny Depp, and Emma Watson have also been diagnosed with this disorder.

In prisons, the ADHD rate is 20%, or one in five. This is likely due to increased impulsivity in ADHD, as well as the fact that people generally seek human integration . And when this isn't forthcoming, "you just do what you can." Too much dopamine circulates in the back, older parts of the brain in ADHD, which can lead to heightened vigilance and a propensity for violence.

The "Stone Age brain" has three main responses to threat : fight, flight, or freeze/fawn. These are also quite useful in cases of burglaries, robberies, etc.

YOU SHOULD JUST PUT A LITTLE MORE EFFORT :-)

Sure, accepting ADHD , and the resulting weaknesses from time to time, is sometimes very difficult or annoying. Life in general is difficult or annoying from time to time. But for every finger you point at your fellow ADHD sufferers for forgetting things, not listening attentively, having impulsive outbursts, or nervous fidgeting, three fingers are also pointing back at you.

Could it be that you're confronting your OWN weaknesses in this area when you're SO annoyed about inattention, clumsiness, talkativeness, or overwhelming emotions? Your reaction is nothing other than a representation of how you deal with the weaknesses, insecurities, anger, and fears in your life. With the unpredictable. With your own shadow . And with shadows, the less we pay attention to them, the stronger they become...

Human love and "shadow work" —that's what it all comes down to. The latter, by the way, isn't esoteric nonsense, but rather part of the life's work of Carl-Gustav Jung, the great Swiss psychologist.

And in the end, we're all in the same boat—people with ADHD and neurotypicals alike . We have to get along somehow. But every day we get to decide whether we'd rather bail water out of the boat or drill small holes in the ground. Both can be fun. The results are just different.

PS: Yes, the horrific images, what's the point...?! These creatures, known from very popular horror films , are currently recovering from their passions. They're not much into psychological stuff (they'd rather work !), have little patience, and are already perfectly at home in their own shadow. Do you already know yours?