20 Rules: An Attempt at an ADHD Life Guide

These 20 rules for life—a kind of manual for my life with ADHD—were born out of hardship and heartbreak. I hope they help you too.

There are few things that shape our perceptions and inspire self-reflection like adversity, in the hope of better tomorrows. The past year has done just that for me. And it has raised my fighting spirit to an unprecedented level.

Out of these difficult times came a list of rules for living with ADHD —guidelines I try to follow daily. Although the list was inspired by personal circumstances, I believe everyone with ADHD can benefit from these tips.

1. Dance to your own tune and avoid comparisons with others, especially neurotypicals. Compare yourself only to previous versions of yourself. Focus on making an internal assessment—not on seeking the approval of others. Find your own definition of success in this world.

2. Understand ADHD, its limitations, and its advantages. Study successful people with ADHD, how they've achieved great things, and what they consciously avoid. Don't fixate on the negative aspects of the disorder. Accept the cards you've been dealt—and focus on playing them with minimal losses and maximum gains.

3. Don't use ADHD as a crutch or a reason to see yourself as a victim. No one wants your problem to negatively impact their life—and victim mentality will only make things worse. Stop complaining.

4. Watch out for time thieves. Be wary of the dopamine rushes from alcohol, drugs, spending money, social media, and other things (smartphones in general). These quick fixes are likely to lead to long-term problems. Learn healthier, more productive methods of self-medication (e.g., Wim Hof ​​breathing exercises).

5. Live frugally and save. ADHD has an insidious way of causing sudden, unexpected avalanches in your life. Even when things are going well, minimize your spending. Don't burden yourself with too many possessions. Strive for simplicity. Try to maximize your investments in a high-quality, tax-efficient, long-term investment portfolio. Learn about the FIRE movement. Your financial cushion will provide you with much-needed peace of mind if all else fails.

6. Stay disciplined. Stick to a daily routine. Try to get up and go to bed at the same time every day. Keep yourself busy to ward off anxiety and blockages. Minimize distractions and negative triggers. When anxiety hits, embrace it. Only then will it disappear.

7. Persistently pursue well-thought-out goals. Break them down into daily actions and habits — and always prioritize them over everything else. Don't break the chain of daily achievement—no matter what. Even your family can't always see what you see. They think differently and more uniformly.

8. Try to do things 100%, not half-heartedly. Strive for mastery. Build self-confidence. And don't let jealous people take it away from you.

9. Design your life around your skills, interests, and ADHD limitations. Professionally, don't overlook entrepreneurship as an option. The usual neurotypical 9-to-5 job may not be a long-term solution. Stick with passion projects, no matter how difficult it may seem to organize your life around them.

10. Find a reliable ADHD support group. It can be your outlet for pressure relief. Speak up, but also listen compassionately and without judgment.

11. Eat nutritious foods and get some exercise every day. Even if it's just push-ups or a plank in the morning. Find an exercise you enjoy and make sure you do it often.

12. Be patient with those close to you. Neurotypical friends and family won't always understand you—and that's okay. Learn to say "I'm sorry" freely, but not unnecessarily. Often, apologies aren't necessary, just expressing your feelings.

13. Be humble. Hyperfocus can lead to incredible accomplishments in life—but that doesn't mean you have all the answers—or even always have the answers. Try to talk less and do good for the world around you.

14. Try not to always act impulsively, especially when making important decisions. Take enough time to consider all the possibilities and outcomes. Consult others and be thorough. Don't let yourself get caught up in analysis paralysis.

15. Strive to stay organized. Every item needs a designated place. Bring in a new one, take out an old one. Avoid clutter, overspending, and accumulation. Throw away at least as much as you accumulate.

16. Increase your knowledge. Read daily and try to go to bed smarter than when you woke up. If you don't understand something, look it up. Don't be afraid to pursue your interests, as long as it doesn't compromise your priorities.

17. Stay spiritual. Regardless of your religious or esoteric beliefs, be sure to express gratitude, apologize (if necessary), and take time to help others. Purely elitist "knowledge" from "initiates" (common in esotericism) is NEVER spiritual, but rather external comfort. In the worst case, it will reinforce your feeling that you're totally okay and full of light, while you might just be shit right now—and need more uncomfortable insights. Spirituality always comes from within.

18. Find joy in the moment. Don't let thoughts of potential future challenges overwhelm you—they're probably not as bad as you think. If you feel lost, find solace in nature. A long walk can do wonders for recalibrating.

19. Be your best self. Flush away ruminations, regrets, and other buried things that weigh on your life. Don't keep going back to what isn't working, expecting things to change. Look forward to change; don't fear it.

20. Be grateful, despite inevitable hardships. What does it matter if you're a little different? It's still a blessing to be here. Especially in good health and with loved ones. Live your life to the fullest.

21. (BONUS) Avoid at all costs people with weak character who don't appreciate your honesty, resilience, ability, and potential. People who try to tear you down instead of helping you grow and love you for who you are—and who deserve it. No exceptions. Even if you love and empathize with them in return.

Fight – and love.